Whose Child Is This and What Did You Do with My Sweet Boy?

Allison here. Things have been rough in Casa Spillman recently and I am not sure what happened. Jack has been awful. Absolutely awful. He doesn't listen. He throws massive fits for no reason. He kicks. He screams (at the top of his lungs). He throws things. He won't stay in time out. He argues. He whines. Did I mention he doesn't listen?

We are frustrated and confused. Jack was, by no means, a previously perfect child but we were frequently complimented on how well behaved he was. We went out to eat all the time in Chicago and he would sit at the table, eat his food, interact with people around him and was generally a delight. Not anymore! He gets out of his seat, doesn't eat his food, and prevents us from having a nice meal. Grrr.

Prior to a few weeks ago, Jack understood that timeout was a time and place to collect himself and think about what he was doing wrong. Honestly, he would send himself to timeout if he felt like he was out of control. Now he fights us the whole way to timeout, kicking and screaming. He doesn't stay in timeout and he thinks its funny. If we stand next to him to make sure he stays there, he pushes us and says "move mommy, move."

He seems to be struggling with wanting to be independent (maybe too independent) and then also wanting to be coddled and taken care of. He wants to do things on his own that he can't and when we try to help, he flips out. On the other side, he wants us to carry him and will just sit down, no matter where we are, if we refuse to pick him up. To say we are frustrated is an understatement.

What is probably most frustrating is that this behavior really came out of nowhere a few weeks ago. We tried really hard to keep things as normal as possible for Jack during the move and have kept him on the exact same schedule. Inevitably though, some things changed. He's in a new house and a new school and is going to school 3 days a week instead of 2. On top of that, Chris and I have been really busy and STRESSED at work and even though we try not to let it affect us at home, we know that kids are preceptive and pick up on those things.

Of couse, I am feeling incredibly guilty. Before moving back to Virginia, I worked part time from home for my family business but now I am in the office with a lot more responsibility. When I am at work, I am thinking and worrying about Jack. When I am with Jack I feel like I am constantly yelling at him and sending him to timeout. It is not easy and I have come to realize that being a mom is a guilt-ridden job.

I went to a ladies night dinner last night and I was talking about Jack and his behavior. All the moms reassured me that it will get better. Their little ones are all 3+ years old and they said that they have all been here. I hope they are right. I hope my sweet boy comes back and leaves this monster behind.